Things that Helped Us
- Although nothing will "make it all better", and it is important to let the pain of loss come and experience your grief - here are some things that can help along the way.
- I took a leave of absence to focus on my family. During this time we joined a gym where we could go and exercise as a family. For me there was time for reflection as I walked on the treadmill or ran the track, time for celebrating my love for my husband and daughter as we played together in the pool.
- At the urging of my friends I created a scrapbook of my daughter's life. We look at it from time to time to feel more in touch with her. It's also a way for my youngest daughter to learn about her sister.
- I also put special things (outfits, toys, cards, her baptism gown and candle) in a chest. I don't take them out much but knowing they are there and safe is comforting.
- I planted a garden at Emma's grave. I like to garden and I choose colors and objects an infant might like.
- I wrote in a journal (still do) to help me get my feelings out. I don't worry about what I write or how. Putting something down helps me from getting stuck on something. It gives me a sense of accomplishment or it helps me feel that I am doing something with my feelings.
- I saw a professional for over a year on a regular basis to help me learn to live with my daughter's death. I don't feel "ok" about her death and I'm not over it but I'm able to find a place and time for my thoughts and feelings about what happened and not have it be the focus of each day. It helped me to keep being a mother and wife and not just a crash survivor.
- Reading books is where I learned that other people had experiences and feelings like mine helped me feel less alone.
- Share things that you found helpful with others - write to people who have had a similar loss, volunteer, advocate for vehicle safety.
Share Your Ideas
Please email things that helped you work through your grief. Thank you.